Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Randomize
