I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
