are you so shy because you have an std?
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Couch. On fire.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
