I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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