I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
