Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
