my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
the liver wants what the liver wants
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
