So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
where are my eyebrows?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
