im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
he shaved USA in his pubs
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
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