Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Randomize
