she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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