I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Randomize
