didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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