I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
