I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Randomize