Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Randomize
