There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
