i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
