5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
