Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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