No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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