She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
