we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
