Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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