yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
