I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
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