He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize