Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
