She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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