Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
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