Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
