When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Randomize
