I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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