it was like his penis was on wheels.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
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