apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
