i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
