I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
