If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
