I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
