In America we eat man semen.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
