We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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