Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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