I think scott just propositioned me for sex
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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