She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
That accounts for only three of the penises
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
