dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize
