Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
