Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I've blown a few things in my day
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
