You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
