I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Randomize
