remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
