she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize