So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
