It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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