we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
