Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize