Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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