everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
