I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Randomize
