This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
