Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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