I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
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