either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
