Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
