Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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