Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
