I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize