The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Randomize
