found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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