i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
