Pregnant stripper...not hot.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize
