I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
