My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
